


so sweet and innocent

by Caelum_Blue



Series: The Fire Nation Royal Family (is full of dorks (and jerks)) [12]
Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Azulon's A+ parenting, Baby Pictures, Coffee, F/M, Family, Fire Nation (Avatar), Fire Nation Politics (Avatar), Fire Nation Royal Family, Gen, Growing Up, Imperialism
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-01
Updated: 2020-11-01
Packaged: 2021-03-09 02:27:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,882
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27327322
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Caelum_Blue/pseuds/Caelum_Blue
Summary: Snapshots of Ozai’s childhood, his relationship with his favorite family member, and the base of his political motivations. Because even privileged imperialist dictators were once privileged imperialist children.
Relationships: Iroh/Iroh's Wife (Avatar), Ozai & Iroh's Wife (Avatar), Ozai/Ursa (Avatar)
Series: The Fire Nation Royal Family (is full of dorks (and jerks)) [12]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/498832
Comments: 17
Kudos: 48





	so sweet and innocent

**Author's Note:**

> It's November. This sure has been a year, huh? Here, have a fic.
> 
> Thank you to Stingrae for being my beta, sounding board, and partner in crime!
> 
> Title is from what Suki said about Ozai's baby photo.
> 
> WARNINGS FOR  
> -Implied difficulties with conception  
> -Implied murder  
> -Mentions of Nanyue but literally nothing about the stuff that went down, just mentions of a place that exists
> 
> Enjoy!

* * *

**Age 6**

* * *

“Are you and my brother having a fight?”

“What?” Janya asked, looking up at Ozai. “No, of course not!”

Ozai kept his brows furrowed, the way Father did when he had to make a politician sweat. He wasn’t very good at it - coming from a small child the expression didn’t have quite the same effect - but it got his point across.

“...Why would you think that?” Janya asked when she saw he didn’t believe her.

Ozai pointedly looked at the cup in her hands. “You’re drinking _coffee_.”

Janya sighed. “Alright,” she said, “so we _may_ be having a _slight_ disagreement over whether or not we should try to conquer a certain city that’s known for its impressive jasmine crop, and...I just want to take a break from tea for a bit.” She sipped her coffee.

Ozai snorted. “Brother really likes tea.”

“He does,” Janya sighed again. “He is his mother’s son.”

Ozai perked up a bit. Father and Iroh rarely spoke of Mother. Most of what he knew of her came from Janya or Lo and Li. “I like tea too.”

“Of course you do,” Janya smiled. “Coffee is very nice, though.” She had another sip.

“Can I try some?”

She gave him an amused look. He knew the answer would be no - Janya always told him he was too young for coffee. But to his surprise, she said, “Oh, alright. Just a sip.”

He had a sip. It was awful.

“It smells better than it tastes,” Ozai groused.

“It’ll taste better when you’re older,” she laughed.

* * *

**Age 8**

* * *

“I’m next in line for the throne after Brother, aren’t I?”

“Yes, you’re second in line,” Janya said, carefully untangling a knot from Ozai’s hair. She wasn’t being gentle with the brush - it was a bad tangle - but she was carefully keeping his hair held slack, so that he barely felt a tug on his scalp.

Ozai took a moment to think it over, working his way carefully through the political equation. “So...when you and Brother have kids...then _they’ll_ be second in line, won’t they? And I’ll be third. Or...fourth, or fifth…” It would depend on how many children they had, wouldn’t it? And Ozai knew Janya and Iroh wanted kids, at least one, maybe more. Janya loved kids, she certainly spent as much time with _him_ as she could. 

She would be a good mom. Ozai was surprised she and Iroh didn’t have any yet. If she’d had some years ago, Ozai could have had nieces or nephews as playmates.

In the mirror, Janya’s expression had gone sad. She was silent for a moment, carefully picking out the last of the knot in his hair. “Yes,” she said after a moment, voice quiet. “That’s how it’s supposed to work.” She smoothed his hair out, set the brush aside, and wrapped her arms around him, pulling him back to lean against her chest and resting her chin on the top of his head.

“Oh,” Ozai said. “Okay.”

“And you’d be an uncle,” she added.

“Yeah.” Ozai wasn’t sure how he felt about that. He liked playing with kids his own age, but babies were boring. If Janya was going to have a baby, he wished she’d done it years ago so he could actually play with it.

Janya was studying their reflection in the mirror. After a moment, she forced a smile. “But, until your brother and I manage to bring another little prince or princess into this world, it’s all on you, little brother,” she teased. “You’d better hope nothing happens to your father and brother! Then _you’d_ have to deal with all the Fire Nation’s problems!”

Ozai snorted. “You’d help me!” he insisted.

She gave his reflection a soft look. “I would,” she agreed, and she released him from her hold and picked the brush back up. “Alright,” she said, pulling his hair up into a phoenix tail, “let’s get this taken care of so we can start the day.”

* * *

**Age 11**

* * *

“Look what I found!”

Ozai and the rest of the family looked up to find Janya had arrived at the dinner table with a grin and a scroll clutched in her hands. It was the first evening of their Ember Island family vacation, and Janya had spent the last few hours poking around the beach house.

“Ah!” Cousin Pang Da said. “Have you been going through my art collection, Janya?”

“I have,” she said, unrolling the scroll. “And look what I found!”

Ozai recognized the portrait, though he couldn’t remember it being painted. A happy, chubby child played on the beach beside one of the sand pagodas Janya was so good at building, the sea a calm expanse of blue behind him, the clouds providing a heavenly frame around his head.

“Is that Iroh?” Father asked, peering at the portrait. Ozai held back a grimace.

“It’s _Ozai,_ Father,” Janya said, and she turned her attention to him. “Weren’t you just _adorable?”_ she cooed.

“Indeed,” Iroh chuckled, “what happened?”

Father snorted, and Janya shot Iroh a playful glare. Ozai did not refrain from rolling his eyes.

“My baby grew up,” Janya sighed, and she gave Ozai a proud, bittersweet look. “I can’t believe how big you’ve grown.”

Ozai puffed himself up a bit, pleased at the praise.

Janya rolled the scroll back up and handed it off to a servant. “Put that in my room,” she ordered before taking her seat beside Iroh.

“I remember when Aimi painted that,” Cousin Pang Da said as they started on dinner. “It was a beautiful day and she was so smart to capture the moment! I miss that girl, no one could turn a sketch to a finished painting quite as quick as she could! But she’s enjoying a very successful career now, thanks to my patronage of course. She has a gallery in town now, you know, if you like I could take you to see it tomorrow…”

They stayed at Ember Island for a month. When she wasn’t doting on Ozai or wandering the beach or spending time alone with Iroh, Janya was digging through Cousin Pang Da’s extensive collection of artwork, searching for pieces featuring their family. She found several more of Ozai, but to his delight she found entire _stacks_ devoted to Iroh’s entire childhood - Mother had been very insistent on having as many images of her son as possible. Ozai flipped through them with Janya and Cousin Pang Da, laughing at Iroh’s more ridiculous moments. Iroh took it good-naturedly, laughing along. Father only smiled as he slowly looked over every single image, pausing on the ones that featured Iroh with Mother.

* * *

**Age 13**

* * *

Ozai had asked if he could attend the war meeting, and Janya had acquiesced - it was important, she said, that he start taking military training seriously after all. Father would be fine with it, she told him, so long as he was perfectly silent - she and Father and Iroh and the other generals all had to focus on the meeting itself, on military strategy and political agendas. Ozai was there only to observe - his opinion was unnecessary, and it was more important that he see how these meetings played out in general than participate. Should he have any questions, he was welcome to ask Janya afterwards.

And so Ozai sat, perfectly prim and proper and silent, and watched and listened while Father’s top military advisors debated what the most strategic long-term plan for the Earth Kingdom would be. Iroh and Janya had plenty to say, and Ozai listened with admiration while his sister-in-law casually went back and forth with Admiral Jeong Jeong, discussing the pros and cons to be had in launching a campaign against one of the Earth Kingdom’s western city-states. General Kilohana said that if they were to launch a new campaign at all, they should perhaps focus on the Earth Kingdom’s east coast and Chameleon Bay, as securing the eastern waterways would be crucial if they were ever to make a move against Ba Sing Se. She shot Iroh a pointed look when she said that, and Iroh had nodded seriously. 

Ozai’s lip curled at the reminder of his brother’s boyhood vision, the one Iroh and Father believed meant Iroh was bound for some great destiny. As though Iroh _needed_ destiny on his side - he was already a military mastermind and a Dragon, powerful and perfect and amazing enough as it was. Ozai wished the spirits would grant _him_ a great, powerful destiny. Maybe Father would actually notice him then.

At least no one noticed him rolling his eyes when Iroh reluctantly said that perhaps right now was not the time to consider Ba Sing Se.

Some of the other generals followed Janya and Admiral Jeong Jeong’s examples, pointing out unconquered territories in the Earth Kingdom’s northeast - many of them deep into the continent, the Fire Nation having secured much of the coastlines decades ago. Father didn’t speak at all - he remained silent on his throne, hands clasped before his face, quietly absorbing every word that fell from his advisors’ lips. 

Then Janya pointed out that gaining a firmer hold of the northwest Earth Kingdom meant they’d have a more stable line of attack on Nanyue, and at that point everyone in the war room seemed to collectively release a breath Ozai hadn’t realized they’d been holding. He refocused on the table map, and realized everyone else had just been...talking around the unruly province. Janya didn’t - she’d pulled out a pointer rod, which she rapped against the map as she outlined possible supply lines and transportation plans that had to be taken into account for any future assault on Nanyue. Someone said that Nanyue was too much trouble to be bothered with for now, that the resources that would need to be wasted on its conquest would be put to better use elsewhere, and Janya sternly stated that they couldn’t afford _not_ to conquer Nanyue, not if they didn’t want the Nanyuese to encourage stronger resistance throughout the rest of the northwest Earth Kingdom. Her detractor fell silent at that. Janya looked up to the throne to meet Father’s eyes, and Azulon gazed steadily back at her, his lips twitching into the slightest of smiles before he inclined his head for her to continue her line of thought. Janya smiled back and pointed out three key cities in the northwest she felt would be most advantageous to acquire.

Then there was more talking, and more talking, and Ozai had to admit to himself that this meeting was far more boring than he’d thought it would be. So much information laid out and examined, so many what-ifs and how-tos and maybes, so many calculations on troop numbers and supply orders and whether a river was deep enough for a navy ship to sail up it. It was just...so _much,_ and Ozai thought he’d rather just...be outside. Practicing his firebending. Doing something that would actually make him _stronger,_ instead of yammering on and on with a bunch of over-thinking military masterminds all day. How on earth did Janya and Father and Iroh do this so often?

When he focused back on the conversation at hand, Ozai found that Janya and the other generals were cheerfully arguing over which of two cities the Fire Nation should conquer next. From what little Ozai managed to pay attention to, it sounded like each location was evenly matched with the other in terms of strategic advantage and likelihood of being easily captured. After a few minutes, when it became obvious they were at a stalemate, General Kilohana finally spoke up.

“Well, Prince Iroh, what do you think?”

Janya and the other generals looked at Iroh expectantly - except for Admiral Jeong Jeong, who gave Iroh the most baleful look Ozai had ever seen.

Iroh hummed for a moment. “They make a blend of ginseng tea in Taiyang that I’ve always wanted to try.”

Janya smiled and rolled her eyes, Jeong Jeong put a hand over his face, and all the other generals and admirals nodded seriously.

“Taiyang it is,” Father said, finally speaking. “General Kilohana, have your people gather all relevant information. We will reconvene in three days to discuss a more specific plan of attack. Dismissed.”

Not much later, when they were walking back down the hall towards their private quarters, Ozai asked, “Is it always like that?”

“What, does our strategy always come down to tea?” Janya asked lightly. “Not always, no. But often.”

That wasn’t quite what Ozai had meant, but he didn’t want to tell her that he’d found the whole affair boring and wondered if there was really a point to all the talking. If the Fire Nation truly was meant to rule the world - which they _were_ \- then they should just go in fire blazing. If destiny said it was theirs, what could really stop them?

“So we make important military decisions with Brother’s tea obsession?”

“It keeps the Earth Kingdom on their toes,” Janya said. “They never know where we’re going to attack next.” She shook her head. “But you’re absolutely right - it’s ridiculous. Effective, but ridiculous. Ozai, always remember: Your brother. Is. A dork.”

“His royal tea-loving kookiness?”

“ _Yes_.”

* * *

**Age 14**

* * *

“I just don’t see what the point is in me _learning_ this!”

“It’s important, Ozai,” Janya said tiredly. So she _had_ been paying attention to his rant against taxation methods - he hadn’t been sure. She’d spent the last fifteen minutes sitting on the sofa while he paced in agitation, her chin propped up in her fist as she stared out the window to the garden beyond. It was the rainy season, and the sky had spent the better part of the last hour dumping water on the palace.

“How is it _important?”_ Ozai demanded. “I should be focusing on my Firebending, or - military training, or - or - something _else._ _I’m_ never going to be making tax laws, why do I need to know anything about them?”

“Because you’re second in line for the throne,” Janya said.

He snorted. “Only until you and brother have a kid.”

She was silent.

She was silent for a _very_ long moment.

“...Janya?”

She finally moved, but only to move her hand from her chin to her brow, her thumb braced against her cheek while the rest of her fingers brushed her forehead. “Ozai,” she said quietly, still staring out at the rain, “your brother and I have been married for fifteen years.”

Fifteen years, and they still hadn’t had a child.

Ozai wasn’t stupid. He’d thought about it. He’d thought about it a _lot,_ actually. 

But to hear her actually _acknowledge_ it…

He felt bad for her, but that didn’t stop the thrill of excitement that ran through him. “Janya,” he said slowly, even as his mind raced, because _sweet spirits_ \- “You’re still young…” Well, thirty-four sounded ancient to a teenager, but still. She was only twenty years older than him. She wasn’t too old to conceive. “You could still…”

“We could,” she agreed quietly. “But we also _haven’t.”_

And it wasn’t for lack of trying, Ozai was sure. His brother may be a major flirt, but he was also majorly devoted to his wife. 

“So I’m sorry, little brother,” Janya said, giving him a smile that didn’t reach her eyes, “but no slacking off in your education for you. Not unless I manage to have a baby.”

“I know you want a child, Janya,” Ozai said, his voice far calmer and more comforting than he felt himself. The reassuring words fell out thoughtlessly as he sat down beside her. “I’m sure you’ll have one someday, you’ll see.”

She sighed and reached out to stroke his hair. “Well,” she said consolingly, “I have _you.”_

Ozai smiled at her, kept his expression gentle, but inside he was filled with _glee._

Mother of Agni, he was going to be the Fire Lord one day.

  
  


* * *

**Age 15**

* * *

“Whoop! Almost got me that time!”

Ozai growled in the headlock Janya had put him in and wrapped his arms around her waist. He surprised both of them when he managed to lift her, tilting her backwards and breaking her hold.

 _“Nice,”_ she said, and then she twisted out of his grip before he could body slam her and kicked him with a flaming foot. He blocked it, and she jumped back, recentering herself. “You’re getting big, kid.”

“Had to happen at some point,” he smirked, and then he threw a fireball at her.

When they were done sparring, they retreated to a shady corner of the garden, where the servants had laid out a tray of cool drinks and snacks. Ozai sucked down a glass of cold watermelon juice while Janya toweled sweat off her brow.

“You’re making great progress in your firebending, little brother,” she said, draping the towel around her neck and grabbing a glass of juice for herself. “You should be proud. That was _very_ good.”

“Good enough to join your army?” he asked.

Janya smiled. “While your eagerness to serve is commendable and a fantastic example to our people,” she said, “you are not yet sixteen. Next year, kid.”

“But you’re conquering Nanyue _this_ year.”

“Agni willing,” Janya muttered.

“I want to join you,” Ozai said, for what must have been the tenth time.

“I know,” Janya said. “But Ozai, if the last few decades have been any indication, Nanyue is not going to be an easy fight. I’d rather it not be your first experience in warfare. Father agrees with me.”

Father only agreed with her because he didn’t think Ozai was good enough at all, but Ozai didn’t say that. “Alright,” he sighed. 

She smiled at him. “One day, Ozai. One day, I promise you will fight in our family’s war. And when you do, I promise I will be there to guide you through your first battle. But not right now. Besides,” she added conspiratorially, “you have something _very important_ to focus on _here.”_

His face flushed at the reminder. “Yeah.”

Her smile turned sympathetic. “You’ll like her,” she promised.

“Her...letters seem nice enough,” Ozai admitted. “I won’t really know until I’ve met her in person.”

“Well, I _have_ met her in person,” Janya said, “and I assure you, Lady Ursa is a smart, kind, witty young lady. I think you’ll like her very much.”

Ozai shrugged. “As long as she’s a good Firebender.” The idea of sparring with one of Avatar Roku’s descendants sounded like it could be fun.

“She is,” Janya said. Ozai merely nodded. Janya studied him for a moment, and then she added, “You know...your brother and I, when your mother chose me to marry Iroh...we were thrilled, but nervous at the same time. And we liked each other, a lot, but it did take some time to build up our relationship. But it worked, because your mother had done her research - honestly, your mother had done _all_ the research. I...I know I’m not your mother, and I certainly do not have the same...fanatical energy that she did.”

Ozai nodded again. He’d heard stories about his mother’s quest to find Iroh the perfect wife. Mostly from Lo and Li, because Janya hadn’t been there for most of it, and Father and Iroh hardly ever spoke of Mother. But he knew that Mother had been consumed with the burning need to find the right woman for Iroh, and that she hadn’t stopped searching until she’d found Janya. He wondered, sometimes, what it must be like to have a parent who was that devoted.

“But I did look into Ursa,” Janya said. “Yes, Father was sold on the idea the moment the Fire Sages told him joining his bloodline with Avatar Roku’s would yield us great power, but...well, I still made sure we didn’t choose just any random descendant. I checked all her cousins too, you know. But Ursa...I know you’ll like Ursa.”

“Father likes Ursa,” Ozai muttered.

“I know. She’s going to fit in very well here. I can’t wait for you to meet her.” She smiled. “I know you’ll make a good husband, and I know she’ll make a lovely wife, and the two of you will make...beautiful children, I’m sure.”

 _Children who will inherit the throne,_ Ozai thought, but did not say. He didn’t have to. Janya’s smile had turned bittersweet even as she said the words.

* * *

**Age 16**

* * *

“He’s kicking!”

Ozai looked up from his coffee to find Janya smiling in delight. 

“Or, well, she, maybe,” she added.

“Can I feel?” Ursa asked, already reaching out.

“Of course!” Janya guided Ursa’s hand to her abdomen, and both women were silent for a moment before Ursa gave a happy gasp.

“I feel it! Ozai! Ozai come here you have to feel this!”

Ozai allowed himself to stand up and make his way over to Janya, who released Ursa’s hand and replaced it with Ozai’s own. Nothing, for a long moment, and then he felt it - a little hit against his palm.

“Do you feel that?” Janya beamed. “That’s your niece! Or nephew!”

“I feel it,” Ozai nodded, and he extricated his hand from her grasp.

“Does it hurt?” Ursa wondered.

“It feels strange,” Janya laughed, “but it’s not painful.” She kept her hands on her abdomen, framing her baby bump, and she smiled down at it. 

Ozai still wasn’t used to her looking like that, didn’t think he ever would be. She was six months through her pregnancy, and Ozai wished time would hurry up and get it over with so she’d go back to looking normal - but then he’d remember that meant there’d be a new little prince or princess to contend with. It’d been a shock when Janya had returned from Nanyue, positively glowing when she shared the news that she and Iroh had finally, by some miracle, managed to conceive. That glow hadn’t lessened in the months since, and Janya had taken to her impending motherhood like a turtleduck to water.

Ozai had never seen her so _happy._ Not even in his own childhood had she expressed such joy.

He could live with this, he told himself. Janya was his favorite person in the entire royal family, filial piety towards his own father be damned. Ursa was quickly rising to the top of his good graces as well, but Ozai had had Janya his entire life. She’d practically raised him, not quite the son she’d never been able to have herself but definitely a beloved little brother, and now that she was _finally_ with child, he could - 

He could be happy for her.

There were...pros, to this situation, anyway. Iroh was home and planned to stay, intent on becoming a doting father to his newborn child. His brother’s absence from the field meant Ozai might finally have a chance to shine, and while it rankled that he may not be by Janya’s side when he fought his first battle like she’d promised, he also would not be in his brother’s shadow. Perhaps he would finally be able to gain Father’s attention.

The idea didn’t please him as much as the idea of becoming Fire Lord had. But he had Janya, and Ursa too now, and hopefully an impressive military career ahead of him. He would do what he could with that.

* * *

**Age 38**

* * *

“How’s your coffee?”

“Delicious,” Ozai said. “Kohimori blend?”

Janya laughed. “As though I’d ever serve anything else.

Ozai nodded, thoughtful. Kohimori Island had never sat quite right with him. They were staunch supporters of his brother. Azula had managed to befriend the family’s youngest daughter, however, and Ozai was still pondering over the political uses of that development.

Janya was smiling at him. There was something off about that, but Ozai couldn’t put his finger on it. “Made any interesting business deals lately, little brother?”

Ozai scoffed. “Business deals are Ursa’s domain, you know that.”

She laughed. “Yes, but surely some of her knowledge has rubbed off on you.”

Shortly into their engagement, Ursa had despaired of Ozai ever understanding anything that had to do with the arts of subtlety or negotiation and banned him from ever assisting her with her trade deals again. “You know full well it hasn’t.”

“Hm,” Janya said, noncommittal. She had another sip of coffee and looked out at the sunset. “Iroh will come home soon.”

“Yes,” Ozai said quietly. This was a familiar conversation. Janya was no slouch herself, but Iroh spent more time at the front than she did, and they’d often discussed his movements and victories.

“Zuko will be glad to see him.”

Ozai grimaced at the thought of his eldest - Zuko never had managed to live up to any of his expectations. The boy had been lucky to be born, in more ways than one, and while Ozai had at first been grateful that his firstborn child hadn’t died at birth, as the years went on he had started to wonder…

But - there was something off with this conversation now. Something odd. Something about Janya talking about Zuko…

“What did you say?” he asked. If she repeated herself, maybe he could understand.

“Iroh will be home soon,” she repeated, and she had another sip of coffee. “My son will not.”

And just like that, Ozai knew this was a dream. It was a dream because Janya had never known Zuko, had barely known her son. She’d died a week after Lu Ten’s birth, leaving behind a grieving family and a rearranged line of succession.

She’d left Ozai without a place or purpose, and she hadn’t even bothered to stay alive to make up for it.

“This is a dream,” Ozai said. “You aren’t real.”

Janya gave him a sad smile.

It was pointless to let this farce continue, now that he knew it for what it was. Janya had been dead for over half Ozai’s lifetime, and the woman before him was nothing more than a figment of his own imagination. Ozai should have made the dream end right there, so he could wake up and chase it from his memory.

Except if he woke up, he knew he would find himself alone in his bed. Ursa hadn’t gone to sleep with him that evening - Ursa hadn’t even gone to dinner. They’d received the news of Lu Ten’s death only that afternoon, and after comforting the children and checking in with Fire Lord Azulon, Ursa had donned mourning clothes and gone to the palace temple to pray for Lu Ten’s spirit.

No matter. In time she would see what good fortune this was for their family. The Fire Sages had foreseen that the joining of Fire Lord Sozin and Avatar Roku’s bloodlines would grant the royal family such great power that they would maintain their control of the Fire Nation for centuries to come. Ozai wasn’t inclined to disbelieve the sages, not after seeing how quickly Azula was progressing through her lessons. But as for _how_ that destiny might come to pass….well.

It was _Ozai’s_ bloodline that would inherit that great power. Not Iroh’s. He didn’t see how that would benefit the Fire Nation if his blood didn’t sit upon the throne.

So he’d taken destiny into his own hands. Or maybe it was always meant to come to this. Either way, his will had been done. Patience had never been his strong suit, but it had paid off so sweetly, playing out from the smallest of actions to the grandest of outcomes. Soldiers and servants seduced to his side, information passed from a Fire Nation spy to an Earth Kingdom agent, a well-executed counter-attack that had removed almost all opposition. Now he just had to make his proposal to Fire Lord Azulon, and he saw no way the old man could refuse.

True power, the divine right to rule - that was something you were _born_ with. The Fire Nation knew this. Iroh may have been the firstborn son, but who was to say the next Fire Lord wasn’t meant to be Ozai? Fire Lord Azulon had had to fight his way through dozens of siblings and nieces and nephews to secure his place on the throne. If Ozai was able to take it for himself, why should it not be his?

Nothing could keep him from his destiny. Least of all the memory of a woman long dead.

_Iroh will be home soon. My son will not._

_Made any interesting business deals lately, little brother?_

Ozai wasn’t frightened by her words. She was nothing more than a creation of his own mind. Of course she knew.

“Ozai.” Janya was still smiling at him, but it didn’t reach her eyes. “Ozai. Why did you kill my son?”

Perhaps, if he were a weaker man, he would feel guilty. It would be a sensible thing to feel guilty over, he supposed. But he wasn’t weak. 

He studied her image for a moment. It was a little fuzzy - memory dimmed over time, and it’d been a long while since he’d last looked at any of her portraits. But for just a moment, he allowed himself to look at her. 

And then he turned away, and as the dream faded around him, he said, “He wasn’t you.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!
> 
> Writing this was interesting. I like Ozai exactly as he is - a completely horrible person and a terrible father and a totally dastardly villain. I see no need for redemption, or making his decisions rational or justifiable - I have Azulon to be my rational villain, lol. I love the idea of Ozai being so evil it interferes with his logic and makes him bad at his job. What I did want to do was humanize him - because humanizing someone doesn't mean you excuse what they did, it means you point out that hey, they're human, just like the rest of us, and we're all capable of being that awful if we don't choose not to be.
> 
> And one thing humans have is relationships, so I wanted to show the relationship between Ozai an Janya here, which has also appeared in Late Night Tea Rants With Azulon And Janya, but I wanted to go into detail a bit. Show a progression. Ozai had healthy relationships, once. He just didn't see the point in continuing to have them when he could have power instead.
> 
> Also I hope y'all enjoyed that war meeting at age 13 parallel. I was like "You know what would make Ozai MORE despicable? A beautiful, healthy dose of severe irony."
> 
> The story of Ilah's obsessive search for Iroh's perfect wife can be found in my fic Eye On Target, which I'm very proud of for being absolutely hilarious.
> 
> Name notes - I don't think I've ever explained Janya's name! Janya is...Sanskrit, I think? And it means "born/life" because I thought irony was hilarious when I named her like ten years ago. Scratch that, I _still_ think it's hilarious.
> 
> Btw, that really was just a dream at the end, just to make that clear. No mystical ghostly visitation, just a figment of Ozai's imagination and memory. If he was unlucky enough to get an ACTUAL dream visit from Janya after having her son killed, there'd be a lot less bittersweet civility, and a lot more angry screeching while dodging fireballs. She loves Ozai, but not THAT much.


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